fighting the gorilla

"Training is like fighting with a gorilla. You don’t stop when you’re tired. You stop when the gorilla is tired."

- Greg Henderson

I'm tired.

I am always tired.

My alarm goes off in the morning and before I can get myself out of bed, I have to mentally plan for the next time I will be able to get into my pajamas.  Sometimes it's a nap before my evening workout.  Sometimes it's an 8pm bedtime.  For real.

And I hurt.

Thanks, Mom, for the compression socks!

My whole body hurts. All the time. My calves, my quads, my arms, my shoulders, my back.  Massages hurt.  You know you're in trouble when massages hurt!

Heidi, Darcy, Me, Joann, Angelika... wineries the day after Kinetic!

My friends have started seeing a grumpier version of me.   I am always complaining. I am always hungry.  I even ate McDonald's once!!

Ironman is my gorilla!

But Ironman doesn't care how tired I am.  Ironman doesn't care how sore I am.  Ironman doesn't care if I get to hang out with my friends, or if I get all of my housework done. 

Though... despite being tired and sore, I am making progress.  In May I took my first vacation day from work to get in a ride before a weekend getaway... and did my longest bike ride ever!  Solo! 

And then I hopped on a plane to celebrate Heidi and Dan's wedding (and a bonus reunion with Chris and Meredith - Go Hoos!).  Travel during build weeks takes a special kind of effort (exhibit A: girls weekend in Vegas).  But I got it done, including a beautiful run along the coast of Narragansett.

May was a big month with 4 build weeks and only one recovery week:

Some other firsts (during May and the first week of June):

I had my first Ironman meltdown following a terrible, terrible ride in 100 degree weather.  This was recorded as either the hottest or second hottest May since they started recording weather.

I also had my first Ironman dream.  I'd heard of this happening.  I had finished the swim and headed into the T1 changing tent.  I saw a bunch of people sitting on folding chairs changing into their bike stuff.  I went to get my gear bag, but couldn't find it anywhere! Rather than a tent, we were in a large warehouse with racks of clothes and I was tearing through all of them trying to find my bag. Then the other athletes kind of disappeared and it was more like a real warehouse and I kept trying to get someone to help me, but everyone was too busy. I woke up in a panic that I had spent over an hour in T1 and there was no way I was going to make the cutoffs. It actually took me a minute to realize it wasn't real.  Strange!

And this is only just beginning.  I still have the whole summer to go.

Can someone please slip this gorilla a Xanax or something?!!